Celebrate: Finally Learning to say No!

This month I reflect on what it means to say Yes and what it means to say No. What are we saying Yes to?

I am a recovering Yes-Man. I have spent many years of my life saying Yes to everyone and everything. In many ways, it has treated me well. I’ve said Yes to a great many opportunities, adventures, and experiences. Saying Yes has helped me to live fully and try things I wouldn’t have considered on my own.

However, when it comes to the needs and wants of others, I was conditioned to believe that No was a bad word, a selfish sentiment. Saying Yes to the needs of others feels good. We help; We support; We bend over backwards to selflessly make things happen. It’s the thing that Supermoms are made of. Our egos are filled by the appreciation of others.

And yet, I hadn’t realized the opportunity cost to saying Yes. When we say Yes to one thing, we are saying No to something else. If we aren’t careful, saying Yes to others can involve disconnecting from ourselves. We say No to our own needs and wants. Overtime, we lose the ability to know what we want. It is the ultimate betrayal: the betrayal of ourselves.

Why do we get so comfortable saying No to ourselves?